本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛My grandfather had died and we were burying him.
I was trying to comfort my 15 year old little brother, who was into games and halo in a big way, telling him "oh grandad had a long and happy life, look at the people around here there's very few friends. He was 95 years old, I think if you go to more funerals of your friends than come to yours you win."
Then I said this, in the middle of a church while the priest was speaking, "He definitely got the last man standing award"
Didn't realise what I said until a few seconds later when my little brother's face folded up trying not to laugh, I burst out laughing but it was short enough that it sounded like a sob.
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this conversation happened to me, two days ago: Security: "do you have any liquids or gels?" Me: "No."
luggage passes through scanner, Nutella detected
Security, holding the jar of Nutella: "I thought you said you had no liquids or gels?" Me: "That's a spread."
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I was having one of the worst days of my life. Earlier in the day, the owner of the cafe I worked at decided to close up shop without letting anyone know. When I called my girlfriend to tell her this, she interrupted me by saying she thinks we should see other people. When I got back to my apartment, we found out the heat had caused a power outage, so I didn't have fans, or a friend with a working refrigerator, or the internet to take my mind off all this.
At the beginning of the evening, I eventually convinced myself to get off the couch and stop the self-pity shit to go down to the lake and watch the water for a bit and relax. When I got to my normal water-watching spot, a man came up to me, brandishing a knife and screaming "Gimme all yo' money!"
I looked at him and totally fucking lost it. I couldn't breathe; I was laughing too hard. The man stood there, confused, as my laughing went on and on. After about four minutes, he says "Fuck dis Shit. Y'all crazy" and books it.
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Went to see some cheesy horror movie with my best friend. He had the nachos. Halfway through the movie he starts getting gas. He lets a couple go, audible, not stinky, so it's just amusing. Then he rips out a giant, roaring, seat vibrating fartknock. Right as the scene with the two stars about to kiss was coming to a climax, that one single silent moment of the entire movie. Just trumpeted perfectly through the entire theatrical 'moment'. The entire theater burst up laughing. Ruined the effect of the scene, but I'm sure it was a crappy movie anyway, so who really cares.
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I was at my great aunts funeral, and even though I didn't know her that well, I went to support my then step father. Near the end, the priest asked if anyone had any final words they'd like to share about my aunt. My step dad stood up, said he would. Now, someone working at the funeral home had left the radio on, so as my step dad was walking towards the casket "I wanna sex you up" starts playing... And I absolutely lost it.
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I was a pallbearer at a funeral home. I had a magnetic name tag on my suit. We were carrying a metal casket and the name tag jump off my suit and stuck itself to the casket without anyone noticing. I just heard a noise and noticed that my name tag was gone. During the service, my colleagues and I started looking for the name tag. When I saw it on the casket, I pointed it out to a colleague and we both started laughing. I mean, uncontrollably.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
I was trying to comfort my 15 year old little brother, who was into games and halo in a big way, telling him "oh grandad had a long and happy life, look at the people around here there's very few friends. He was 95 years old, I think if you go to more funerals of your friends than come to yours you win."
Then I said this, in the middle of a church while the priest was speaking, "He definitely got the last man standing award"
Didn't realise what I said until a few seconds later when my little brother's face folded up trying not to laugh, I burst out laughing but it was short enough that it sounded like a sob.
===============================================================
this conversation happened to me, two days ago: Security: "do you have any liquids or gels?" Me: "No."
luggage passes through scanner, Nutella detected
Security, holding the jar of Nutella: "I thought you said you had no liquids or gels?" Me: "That's a spread."
================================================================
I was having one of the worst days of my life. Earlier in the day, the owner of the cafe I worked at decided to close up shop without letting anyone know. When I called my girlfriend to tell her this, she interrupted me by saying she thinks we should see other people. When I got back to my apartment, we found out the heat had caused a power outage, so I didn't have fans, or a friend with a working refrigerator, or the internet to take my mind off all this.
At the beginning of the evening, I eventually convinced myself to get off the couch and stop the self-pity shit to go down to the lake and watch the water for a bit and relax. When I got to my normal water-watching spot, a man came up to me, brandishing a knife and screaming "Gimme all yo' money!"
I looked at him and totally fucking lost it. I couldn't breathe; I was laughing too hard. The man stood there, confused, as my laughing went on and on. After about four minutes, he says "Fuck dis Shit. Y'all crazy" and books it.
==================================================================
Went to see some cheesy horror movie with my best friend. He had the nachos. Halfway through the movie he starts getting gas. He lets a couple go, audible, not stinky, so it's just amusing. Then he rips out a giant, roaring, seat vibrating fartknock. Right as the scene with the two stars about to kiss was coming to a climax, that one single silent moment of the entire movie. Just trumpeted perfectly through the entire theatrical 'moment'. The entire theater burst up laughing. Ruined the effect of the scene, but I'm sure it was a crappy movie anyway, so who really cares.
===================================================================
I was at my great aunts funeral, and even though I didn't know her that well, I went to support my then step father. Near the end, the priest asked if anyone had any final words they'd like to share about my aunt. My step dad stood up, said he would. Now, someone working at the funeral home had left the radio on, so as my step dad was walking towards the casket "I wanna sex you up" starts playing... And I absolutely lost it.
===================================================================
I was a pallbearer at a funeral home. I had a magnetic name tag on my suit. We were carrying a metal casket and the name tag jump off my suit and stuck itself to the casket without anyone noticing. I just heard a noise and noticed that my name tag was gone. During the service, my colleagues and I started looking for the name tag. When I saw it on the casket, I pointed it out to a colleague and we both started laughing. I mean, uncontrollably.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net