本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛我个人总觉得北美,尤其美国产的笑话,非常直接, 想逗人笑的动机太明显, 脑筋只需转一个弯,就可以哈哈大笑, 有时觉得不过瘾, 现实成分太多, 荒诞的艺术不足, 给人的想象空间留不了太多余地. 这在北美尤待提高.

有一点特别明显: 两性之间的关系充满了火药味, 尤其是关于夫妻这个话题, 经常有你死我活,冤家路窄的坚决对立,对婚姻的嘲讽铺天盖地,嘲讽太多. Stereotype 也太多太死板, 比如说金发女子就智商低, 老年男人就一定疲软, 丈母娘就一定可恶, 连上帝都贪污受贿, 如果在一个不是很私人的场合,讲太多这样类型的的笑话, 因为太直接, 很容易冒犯人, 让人有点担心是否适当. 所以讲笑话, 不能随便乱讲, 尤其在工作场所, 风险很高.

好的幽默, 表面看起来或愚钝, 或轻柔, 或文雅, 但让你听了之后,脑子空白五秒钟, 然后笑到灵魂深处, 表面无伤大雅, 但实际杀伤力强大,但仍然能让你带着愉悦走开,而不是以大家分享生活bitterness, 傻傻地狂笑干笑, 无奈地收场. 上品的幽默感, 机智, 质朴, 能让脑筋愉快地转好几个弯.

分享以下几个我喜欢的笑话.

A man walks into a pet shop and asks to see the parrots. The store owner shoes him two beautiful ones out on the floor. "This one is $5,000 and the other is $10,000," he says.

"Wow!" says the man. "What does the $5,000 do?"
"This parrot can sing every aria Mozart wrote," says the store owner.
"And the other?"
"He sings Wagner's entire Ring cycle. There is another parrot out back for $30,000".
"Holy Moley! What does he do?"
"Nothing that I've heard, but the other two call him "Maestro".


The optimist says, "The glass is half full."
The pessimist says, " The glass is half empty."
The rationalist says, "The glass is twice as big as it needs to be."


When Thompson hit 70, he decided to change his lifestyle completely, he decided to change his lifestyel completely so that he could live longer. He went on a strict diet, he jogged, he swam, and he took sunbaths. In just 3 months' time, Thompson lost 30 pounds, reduced his waist by 6 inches, and expanded his chest by 5 inches. Svelte and tan, he decided to top it up with a sporty new haircut. Afterwards, while stepping out of the barbershop, he was hit by a bus.

As he lay dying, he crided out, "God, how could you do this to me?"
And a voice from the heavens responded, "To tell you the truth, Thompson, I didn't recognize you."


A man is worried that his wife is losing her hearing, so he consults a doctor. The doctor suggests that he try a simple at-home test on her: Stand behind her and ask her a question, first from 20 feet away, then from 10 feet away, and finally right behind her.

So the man goes home and sees his wife in the kitchen facing the stove. He says frm the door, "What's for dinner tonight?"
No answer.
Ten feet behind her he repeats, " What's for dinner tonight?"
Still no answer.
Finally, right behind her, he repeats, "What's for dinner tonight?"
And his wife turns around and says, "For the third time --chicken!"


A man goes into a bar with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender says, " You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says, "This is my seeing-eye dog."
"Oh, I am sorry, man," says the bartender. "Here, the first one's on me". The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
Another guy walks into the bar with a dog. The first guy stops him and says, "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him its a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks him, continues to the bar, and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "Hey you can't bring that dog in here!"
The man replies, "this is my seeing-eye dog"
The bartender says, " No I don't think so. They don't use Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs"
The man pauses for a half-second and replies, "What??? They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"

A man wrote a letter to the CRA saying, " I have been unable to selep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I have understated my taxable income and have enclosed a check for $150. If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest."

Four doctors went on a duck-hunting trip together: a family practioner, a gynocologist, a surgeon, and a pathologist. As a bird flew overhead, the family practioner started to shoot but decided not to because he wasn't sure absolutely sure it was a duck. The gynocologist also started to shoot, but lowered his gun when he realized he didn't know whether it was a male or a female duck. The surgeon,meanwhile, blew the bird away, turned to the pathologist and said, "Go see if that was a duck."

A Jewish grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, "Please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back."
And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new.
She looks up to heaven and says, "He had a hat!"更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

A wife asks her husband, "Honey, if I died, would you remarry?"
After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship."
"If I died and you remarried," the wife asks, "would she live in this house?"
"We've spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I'm not going to get rid of my house. I guess she would."
"If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house," the wife asks, "would she sleep in our bed?"
"Well, the bed is brand new, and it cost us $2,000. It's going to last a long time, so I guess she would."
"If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house and slept in our bed, would she use my golf clubs?"
"Oh, no," the husband replies. "She's left-handed."

A college student was in a philosophy class, where there was a class discussion about whether or not God exists, The professor had the following logic:
"Has anyone in this class heard God?" Nobody spoke.
"Has anyone in this class touched God?" Again, nobody spoke.
"Has anyone in this class seen God?" When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply stated, "Then there is no God."

The student did not like the sound of this at all, and asked for permission to speak. The professor granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates:
"Has anyone in this class heard our professor's brain?" Silence.
"Has anyone in this class touched our professor's brain?" Absolute silence.
"Has anyone in this class seen our professor's brain?" When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded, "Then, according to our professor's logic, it must be true that our professor has no brain!"

The student received an "A" in the class.