After reading the comments, I am astounded that people don't realize that this is a fake story... The Daily Currant is not an actual news publication, it only prints stories that are satirical in nature. That means they are for humor, usually at the expense of the person or people involved in the story.
Maybe you found the story reprinted on another website or something, but it should always say its from The Daily Currant. Another, even better publication (and website) for stories like this is called "The Onion."