本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛他叫祁纬唯，是个2年半的男孩，这个年纪的孩子本应该无忧无虑的生活，拥有快乐的童年，但是小纬唯却被迫躺在多伦多病童医院的病床上接受化疗，他患了罕见的视网膜母细胞瘤，在中国已经做了眼球摘除手术，北京同仁医院的大夫把他们一家三口介绍到加拿大，因为这里有全球最好的儿童眼科专家，而且价钱比美国便宜很多，但是做完眼球植入手术之后，他们打过来的钱已经花完，接下来还要做全身化疗，以免癌细胞扩散。
原文
His name is Weiwei QI, a boy of only two and half years old. While other children of his age are enjoying their worry-free childhood, Weiwei is lying in the bed receiving Chemotherapy in Toronto Sick Kids Hospital. He is suffering from a rarely seen cancer: retinoblastoma (RB). He has undergone an enucleation surgery in China. The doctors in Beijing Tongren Hospital have referred them to Canada because Canada has the best ophthalmologists in the world and the treatment is much less costly than that in the U.S. However, all the money that his parents brought to Canada has been spent on the eyeball implantation surgery. A Systemic Chemotherapy is still needed to prevent the cancerous cells from spreading.
newidid的译文
Weiwei QI, two years and a half, was admitted to Toronto Sick Kids Hospital for rare eye cancer retinoblastoma. Little Weiwei was referred by his Chinese surgeon for Sickkids’ good reputation and word class treatment in retinoblastoma. However, after the eyeball implantation surgery, the family has run out of money and can not afford the systemic chemotherapy, which is necessary to prevent the cancer from spreading.
1. Sentiment and tone is quite vital in this type of writing. The Chinese version was poorly written, but there is a strong sentiment and feeling that is completely missing in your version.
2. I think you'd better try to use simple and plain English when addressing the general public. Save the people the trouble of googling "enucleation" and as matter of fact, "eye removal surgery" is perfectly fine.
3. Avoid colloquial wording. "run out of money" is spoken English.
Weiwei Qi, two and a half years old, who could have enjoyed his childhood as happily as any other children, had to receive chemotherapy at Toronto Sick Kids Hospital for his retinoblastoma, a rare type of eye cancer. He already has had an eye removal surgery in China, and the doctors at Tongren Hospital have recommended the family of three to come to Canada where the eye surgeons are considered the best in the world and the cost is cheaper than what they can get in US. The family, however, has been in financial difficulty since an eye implantation surgery and was left helpless for the succeeding chemotherapy that might prevent the tumors from developing.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
原文
His name is Weiwei QI, a boy of only two and half years old. While other children of his age are enjoying their worry-free childhood, Weiwei is lying in the bed receiving Chemotherapy in Toronto Sick Kids Hospital. He is suffering from a rarely seen cancer: retinoblastoma (RB). He has undergone an enucleation surgery in China. The doctors in Beijing Tongren Hospital have referred them to Canada because Canada has the best ophthalmologists in the world and the treatment is much less costly than that in the U.S. However, all the money that his parents brought to Canada has been spent on the eyeball implantation surgery. A Systemic Chemotherapy is still needed to prevent the cancerous cells from spreading.
newidid的译文
Weiwei QI, two years and a half, was admitted to Toronto Sick Kids Hospital for rare eye cancer retinoblastoma. Little Weiwei was referred by his Chinese surgeon for Sickkids’ good reputation and word class treatment in retinoblastoma. However, after the eyeball implantation surgery, the family has run out of money and can not afford the systemic chemotherapy, which is necessary to prevent the cancer from spreading.
1. Sentiment and tone is quite vital in this type of writing. The Chinese version was poorly written, but there is a strong sentiment and feeling that is completely missing in your version.
2. I think you'd better try to use simple and plain English when addressing the general public. Save the people the trouble of googling "enucleation" and as matter of fact, "eye removal surgery" is perfectly fine.
3. Avoid colloquial wording. "run out of money" is spoken English.
Weiwei Qi, two and a half years old, who could have enjoyed his childhood as happily as any other children, had to receive chemotherapy at Toronto Sick Kids Hospital for his retinoblastoma, a rare type of eye cancer. He already has had an eye removal surgery in China, and the doctors at Tongren Hospital have recommended the family of three to come to Canada where the eye surgeons are considered the best in the world and the cost is cheaper than what they can get in US. The family, however, has been in financial difficulty since an eye implantation surgery and was left helpless for the succeeding chemotherapy that might prevent the tumors from developing.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net