Aggressive, Arrogance and Ignorance
• The more informed you are, the less arrogant and aggressive you are.
• I did nothing but make enemies because of my arrogance.
• Ignorance—and a person's inability to see what unites us instead of only those things that divide us. A good leader can engage in a debate frankly and thoroughly, knowing that at the end he and the other side must be closer, and thus emerge stronger. You don't have that idea when you are arrogant, superficial, and uninformed.
• You just want your point of view to prevail.

Do you believe people are good at their core?
• There is no doubt whatsoever, provided you are able to arouse the goodness inherent in every human. Those of us in the fight against apartheid changed many people who hated us because they discovered that we respected them
• You can change someone who is only carrying out a policy, since that person himself isn't the policy.
• You could defeat your opponent without dishonoring him.
• If you sit down and talk to a person, it's easy to convince him because we exploited their good qualities.

Patience
• I learned to have the patience to listen when people put forward their views, even if I think those views are wrong. You can't reach a just decision in a dispute unless you listen to both sides, ask questions, and view the evidence placed before you. If you don't allow people to contribute, to offer their point of view, or to criticize what has been put before them, then they can never like you. And you can never build that instrument of collective leadership.

Humility
• Humility is one of the greatest qualities a leader can have. Humility is knowing your place in the world, it's understanding that you are not the first person who has ever done anything important.
• If you are humble, you are no threat to anybody. Some behave in a way that dominates others. That's a mistake. If you want the cooperation of humans around you, you must make them feel they are important—and you do that by being genuine and humble. You know that other people have qualities that may be better than your own. Let them express them.

Forgiveness
• Oprah: One of the greatest lessons your life teaches us all is the power in forgiving our oppressors. As you once told me, you "made the brain dominate the blood." How were you able to practice that principle?
• Nelson Mandela: We all struggled with it, especially since we were dealing with an enemy who was more powerful than us. But because we wanted to avoid slaughtering each other, we had to suppress our feelings. That is the only way to bring about a peaceful transformation.
• Oprah: Many people can't even do that in their own families.
• Nelson Mandela: True, but we must teach people that when they've been wronged, they must talk to their enemies and resolve their differences for the sake of peace.