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You're just like Brian...

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian" Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time." Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody." Cabbie: "Not Brian Sullivan.. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy." Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special." Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right." Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then." Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan." Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?" Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I'm married to his widow."更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
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Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 工作学习 / 外语学习 / When my wife left, I was sad and lonely. So I got a dog, a new motorbike, shagged 2 women and blew a grand on drugs and alcohol. +1
    She's going to go f***ing nuts when she gets back from work.
    • 不懂
      • 你可以问我。:)
        • 算了 你连下面的一块翻译了吧
    • A goat gets his wish granted by a genie. +1
      本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛He wishes to be turned into a human being. After his transformation, the, now, man is so grateful to the genie. He asks "How can I ever repay you?"
      The genie just has this request: That the man make the most of his life and live like no man has lived before; love like no man has loved before; and care like no man has cared before. The man obliges.

      He first sets out to find his "calling". Over the years, he works many jobs. He finds himself becoming depressed with the monotony that he has come to know. Finally, he decides to go back to his roots and do what he knows. He becomes a farmer. With the money he has accumulated from his many professions, he buys a large farm where he decides to take in unwanted and ill animals. Goats (obviously), pigs, cows, cats, dogs, and various other animals. He cares for them. He comes to know and understand them. He has a deep connection with them.

      One day, a woman brings her dog to the man's farm. She is worried about the dog. She says ever since the dog's sibling died, he hasn't seemed right. The man agrees to take the dog and care for it. He knows the other animals will comfort it and the dog will enjoy his new family. The woman comes to visit the dog regularly. She becomes familiar with all of the other animals on the farm, and most of all, the man. They spend hours together each visit. Talking and taking care of the animals together. Hours turn to days. Days to weeks. The man asks the woman to live with him and his animals. The woman obliges. They are in love. They are truly happy.

      The genie comes to the man one night in his dreams. The genie says to the man "You have lived like no other man; you have loved like no other man; and you have cared like no other man. You have done well".

      The man wakes up the next morning and he doesn't feel well. He can't explain it, but somethings not right. Weeks go by and the man's condition seems to worsen. His doctors cannot explain his rapidly deteriorating health. The woman is always by his side when she's not caring for his animals. The woman's dog sleeps at the foot of his bed. Never leaving. At last, it seems like he cannot hold on for much longer. He's barely able to speak at this point. He motions for the woman to come near. He says to her "Do you want to know why I fell in love with you all those years ago? Do you want to know why I love you more and more every day?"
      She says, "Yes, my love, tell me."

      With his final breath, he tells her "Because you make me feel like a kid again."更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
      • For this one I don't know where the G (G stands for giggle) spot is.
        • Because G..oat
          meat from younger animals is called "kid"
          • 我完了。不黄的笑话都看不大懂了。。
            • 都没看 就看到了G点
              • 你不必看了,反正不黄。:)
                • 老顽整啥咧
                • The cure。 来个带色的
                  Gus was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself."
                  That same day Gus went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to Becky. At home, he found Becky was in bed, naked and waiting. As the two began, they found themselves in the celebrated 69 position. Gus, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol.
                  The next day, Gus went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?"
                  "Well, not as I'd expected. When I fired the pistol, Becky shit on my face, bit 3 inches off my dick, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air."
                  • 好复杂
      • 没懂。羊死了。好笑?那只死了兄弟的。狗的作用是?
        • 就是说,想要找个披着人皮的羊,妹子要养条狗!(●˘◡˘●)
          • 然后。。。妹子。。。羊死了。
    • The genie and the russian
      本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a genie. The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello Master, I will grant you one wish, anything that you want." The Russian begins thinking, "Well I really like drinking vodka."
      Finally the Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka whenever I want, so make me piss vodka." The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He looks at the glass and it's clear. Looks like vodka. Then he smells the liquid. Smells like vodka. So he takes a test and it is the best vodka that he has ever tasted.
      The Russian yells to his wife, "Natasha, Natasha, come quickly." She comes running down the hall and the Russian takes another glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He tells her to drink, that it is vodka. Natasha is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best vodka that she has ever tasted. The two drink and party all night.
      The next night the Russian comes home from work and tells his wife to get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to piss in the two glasses. The result is the same, the vodka is excellent and the couple drink until the sun comes up.
      Finally, Friday night comes and the Russian tells his wife to grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink vodka. She gets the glass but asks him "Boris, why do we only need one glass?"

      Boris raises the glass and says, "Because tonight my love, you drink from the bottle."更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • You're just like Brian...
      本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian" Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time." Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody." Cabbie: "Not Brian Sullivan.. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy." Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special." Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right." Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then." Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan." Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?" Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I'm married to his widow."更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
      • 这么长。居然读完了。。。不怎么好笑。
        • It is actually quite sad.:)
          • because the cabbie can never measure up to brian?
            • 对。他老婆把她前夫说得无比完美,并以此为高标准来苛求他。
              • 真惨。。。比女盆友没事老说前男友多好多好多好。还惨。