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唉,虚心检讨,坚决不改。看链接吧

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  • 工作学习 / 外语学习 / 紧急求助:请大家给找几个英文笑话,明天中午要用(toast master),多谢,我记得在哪里看过中文姓的发音,闹的笑话,不知在哪里能找出来,多谢!
    • 我知道一个:Who is the president of China?Hu. Who? Hu. When? No, Wen is the prime minister。
      • 还是你说得好。
    • 为什么要拿中国人的事当笑话说给外人听呢?找笑话不会Google么?
      • 没必要这么敏感吧?
        • 首先,既然是紧急,干吗不Google?码字那会儿早搜了一箩筐了。其次,一说起笑话就想到拿中国人说事儿。这思维明显有问题。能不批判吗?
          • 好,我检讨。有谁手头有英文笑话,麻烦你传给我,需要稍微长一点,能讲3-5分钟,多谢!
            • 唉,虚心检讨,坚决不改。看链接吧
              • 咳,关键是太多了,不知道哪一个合适,再说,时间紧迫,没有太多时间慢慢找,我这也是临时帮别人。要是谁有现成的,拿来借用一下,不是挺好吗!
                • 唉,虚心检讨,坚决不改。看链接吧 Page Link -bdbs(不多不少); 16:27 (#5820002@0) Reply
                • #5699947@0, #5627432@0, #3803750@0, #3287975@0, #3191149@0), #3067107@0, #3044610@0, #3044603@0,#3044601@0
                  • cool........................................
                  • 这个没看懂 ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
                    • 我也没全懂。猜想是因为appearance 。 可以理解为“穿着”,但法律上应该理解为“上庭,出庭”
                      • 明白了。。。我觉得你说的对。
                  • 谢谢酷猫,今天中午非常成功,我选的是这个:
                    本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛有种最有效的审讯方法叫"多次重复出错法", 被老婆们学会了会很恐怖
                    by coolmao (酷猫) at 2006.10.27 13:17 (#3287975@0)
                    <本文发表于: 相约加拿大:枫下论坛 www.rolia.net/forum >
                    Husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question.

                    WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

                    HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

                    WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

                    HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

                    WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

                    HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

                    WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

                    HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

                    WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

                    HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

                    WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

                    HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

                    WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

                    HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

                    WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

                    HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do"

                    WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

                    HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

                    WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?

                    HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."

                    WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?

                    HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

                    WIFE: -- silence-

                    HUSBAND: "sh*t."更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
                    • 好啊, 鼓励支持下。我最怕在大众面前开口了。
    • toast master是什么东东?
      • here it is. please see the link.
    • 这个能用吗?
      本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛1. Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?
      你能够像罐头工人一样装罐头吗?
      2. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
      我希望梦想着你梦想中的梦想,但是如果你梦想着女巫的梦想,我就不想梦想着你梦想中的梦想。
      3. I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice-cream!
      我叫喊,你叫喊,我们都喊着要冰淇淋!
      4. How many cookies could a good cook cook if a good cook could cook cookies?
      A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.
      如果一个好的厨师能做小甜饼,那么他能做多少小甜饼呢?一个好的厨师能做出和其它好厨师一样多的小甜饼。
      5. The driver was drunk and drove the doctor's car directly into the deep ditch. 这个司机喝醉了,他把医生的车开进了一个大深沟里。
      6. Whether the weather be fine or whether the weather be not.
      Whether the weather be cold or whether the weather be hot.
      We'll weather the weather whether we like it or not.
      无论是晴天或是阴天。
      无论是冷或是暖,
      不管喜欢与否,我们都要经受风霜雨露。
      7. Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
      A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.
      If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
      Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
      彼德派柏捏起一撮泡菜。
      彼德派柏捏起的是一撮泡菜。
      那么彼德派捏起的泡菜在哪儿?
      8. I thought a thought. But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought.
      If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
      我有一种想法,但是我的这种想法不是我曾经想到的那种想法。如果这种想法是我曾经想到的想法,我就不会想那么多了。
      9. Amid the mists and coldest frosts,
      With barest wrists and stoutest boasts,
      He thrusts his fists against the posts,
      And still insists he sees the ghosts.
      雾蒙蒙,冰霜冻,
      手腕儿空空,话儿涌,
      只见他猛所拳头往柱子上砸,
      直说自己把鬼碰。
      10. Badmin was able to beat Bill at billiards, but Bill always beat Badmin badly at badminton.
      巴德明在台球上能够打败比尔,但是打羽毛球比尔常常大败巴德明。
      11. Betty beat a bit of butter to make a better butter.
      贝蒂敲打一小块黄油要做一块更好的奶油面。
      12. Rita repeated what Reardon recited when Reardon read the remarks.
      当里尔登读评论时,丽塔重复里尔登背诵的东西。
      13. Few free fruit flies fly from flames.
      没有几只果蝇从火焰中飞过去。
      14. Fifty-five flags freely flutter from the floating frigate.
      五十五面旗子在轻轻漂浮的战舰上自由的飘扬。
      15. There is no need to light a night light on a light night like tonight.
      for a bright night light is just like a slight light.
      像今夜这样明亮的夜晚,就不需要点一盏夜灯,因为明亮的夜灯也会变得微弱。
      17. A pleasant peasant keeps a pleasant pheasant and both the peasant and the pheasant are having a pleasant time together.
      一位和气的农民养了一只伶俐的野鸡,而且这位和气的农民和这只伶俐的野鸡在一起度过了一段很美好的时光。
      18. How many sheets could a sheet slitter slit if a sheet slitter could slit sheets?
      如果裁纸机能裁纸的话,一个裁纸机能裁多少张纸呢?
      19. Mr. See owned a saw and Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See.
      西先生有一个锯,萨先生有一个秋千。现在在萨先生看见西先生之前,西先生的锯锯断了萨先生的秋千。
      20. If you're keen on stunning kites and cunning stunts, buy a cunning stunning stunt kite.
      如果你非常相要好的风筝和精彩的表演,就去买一只漂亮的,灵巧的风筝吧。
      21. Ted sent Fred ten hens yesterday so Fred's fresh bread is ready already.
      特德昨天给弗莱德送去了十只母鸡,所以弗莱德的新鲜面包已经准备好了。
      22. A Finnish fisher named Fisher failed to fish any fish one Friday afternoon and finally he found out a big fissure in his fishing net.
      一个名叫费希尔的芬兰渔民在一个星期五的下午未能捕捉到任何鱼,结果他民现他的渔网上有一个大裂口。
      23. Franc's father is frying French fries for his five fire-fighter friends after they finished a fire-fighting in a factory.
      在结束对一家工厂的灭火战斗以后,弗兰克的父亲在为他的五个消防队员朋友炸制法式土豆(炸薯条)更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
      • 这个肯定不行。中国人没有可能说得好
        这种笑话近似于绕口令,对单词发音长短和语调的要求极其严格。如果说不好,幽默的意义就都失去了,剩下的只有观众在那里面面相觑。