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工作学习 / 外语学习 / H-E-L-L-O,anybody here, here,re... ? Mind doing a short translation exercise and sharing your inspiration?I have been trying to translate it using few possible words without losing too much original meaning. But I am afraid that I am thinking in circle lately...
自我认字起，就很想将母亲苦难的一生写下来，却一直没得时间。时间久了，忘记了许多细节，却不敢去问，怕再度引起母亲的伤怀。所以趁现在还存有记忆，先做一个草记。
母亲一生，似乎从她出生前就已注定是磨难重重，满腔苦水，以泪洗面。她从未见过自己的父亲，他也没见过她。并非生离死别，而是因为做父亲的从来也没想见她。
-eric_2003(Wine Expert);
2011-10-13
{465}
(#6985493@0)
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一般的工作英语还能混混，您这已经上升到文学水平了，只能等高人来翻了。
-slowdownforrose(放慢脚步);
2011-10-14
(#6987382@0)
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I am not looking for correct answers, because there is none. I am here calling for different writing styles and ideas because I am tired and sick of my own. If we have four or five different versions of translation, that would be fantastic.
-eric_2003(Wine Expert);
2011-10-14
(#6987693@0)
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英文老师曾建议我用英文写博客以提高写作水平，可是我发现根本不灵，很多句子，中文写下来感情饱满，可英文总是干巴巴的几个词。怎么提高？除了读小说外。
-besideu(身边一破脑袋);
2011-10-16
(#6989444@0)
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i've had the same question but now i think, personally,that english doesn't have to (and can't) resemble chinese. chinese is a visual and artistically abstract language, while english is a logistic and analytical language (detailand precision).
just my $0.02
-hsl(胡司令);
2011-10-16
{208}
(#6989544@0)
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很有道理。有时候只顾着把话说得漂亮，反倒让人不知所云，不如简单明了一些。中文里词面背后的意思太多了。
-besideu(身边一破脑袋);
2011-10-17
(#6990917@0)
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正是。。。此外，酒专家原（中）文的最大特点也在于此：言简意赅不罗嗦。
-hsl(胡司令);
2011-10-17
(#6990931@0)
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我也试着回答一下，听，说，读，写，听说是摆在最前面的，听说若没问题，能用本地常用语和人比较深的交流，再多看点，写应该不会干巴巴的。再不行，可以上上写作课，让专家指导一下。
-slowdownforrose(放慢脚步);
2011-10-16
(#6989559@0)
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还是要听和说多下功夫。多谢回答。
-besideu(身边一破脑袋);
2011-10-17
(#6990918@0)
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周六晚上，孩子已睡，闲来无事，胡试一回：
-hsl(胡司令);
2011-10-15
{556}
(#6989224@0)
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Thank you for responding! I start thinking I am talking to myself. Very straightforward style! I may borrow several things if you don’t mind.
-eric_2003(Wine Expert);
2011-10-16
(#6989423@0)
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not at all...but i'd like to get some critiques from you and others. also to share yours if you don't mind, for mutual benefit.
-hsl(胡司令);
2011-10-16
(#6989478@0)
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see inside.The life of my mother looked to have been doomed full of tears and suffering....
There should be a preposition between "doomed" and "full of tears".
My mother’s life seemed to have been doomed with tears and suffering.
-slowdownforrose(放慢脚步);
2011-10-16
{230}
(#6989507@0)
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great! thx!i like it!
but how about:
...seemed to have been doomed, full of tears and suffering, even before...
-hsl(胡司令);
2011-10-16
{106}
(#6989521@0)
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哈，原来漏了一个逗号。好的翻译每个字都很讲究，很费脑子的。所以我一般不追求文学色彩，只求句子清楚明白，不让人读了费力，再有用词最好用这边的常用语。你翻的其它句子我一扫而过都能明白，就这句话要多看两遍。
-slowdownforrose(放慢脚步);
2011-10-16
(#6989542@0)
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本来想写 doomed to be full of...，然后就简约成 doomed full of...。所以不是不小心漏的；)
-hsl(胡司令);
2011-10-16
(#6989565@0)
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doom 是否应该改成curse?
-jesse_dd(紫飞鱼);
2011-10-16
(#6990536@0)
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应该是两个意思吧？curse是人说。我认为命里注定（负面）之类意思的最好用词就是doomed...回头再看还是喜欢放慢脚步的doomed with...
-hsl(胡司令);
2011-10-17
(#6990933@0)
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不是的...curse有命里注定的意思...doom一般有死的意思...
-jesse_dd(紫飞鱼);
2011-10-17
(#6992261@0)
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请允许我掉一下书袋，搬一回字典：
-hsl(胡司令);
2011-10-17
{558}
(#6992601@0)
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关于你的两个例子，我的理解是Ottawa is cursed with tall building.
意思是摆脱不了高楼的恶运。
I am doomed with acne.
意思应该是我因为摆脱不了acne, 我完蛋了。
-jesse_dd(紫飞鱼);
2011-10-22
{132}
(#7006989@0)
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嗯，我没见到过这些意思，简单起见，你把字典也搬出来吧。
-hsl(胡司令);
2011-10-22
(#7007723@0)
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有时字典查了也不知道怎么用。我先找例句，你看看Curse有没有命运的意义，一般是坏运A Hollywood hairdresser, Abigail believes her life has been cursed since the day she was born -- Friday the 13th.Always unlucky in love...
找了一个doom的例子，看看有没有It' over, you are finished 意思。
Max: Hey Bobby! Did you clean your room?
Bobby: No
Max: You are doomed! Mom is on her way up stairs to check on it.
-jesse_dd(紫飞鱼);
2011-10-23
{325}
(#7007961@0)
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不能因为这个就不靠字典、自己造义吧？；）网上有很多权威字典包括Webster等。多查几家，答案很明确。curse（动词）跟这里最接近的意思只有一个，“诅咒”：
to utter a wish of evil against one;
to call for mischief or injury to fall upon.
doom（动词）的主要意思之一是“命里注定（坏结局）”：
to fix irrevocably the destiny or fate of;
make certain of the failure or destruction of.
参考网上字典：
www.dictionary.com
www.merriam-webster.com
www.websters-online-dictionary.org
-hsl(胡司令);
2011-10-24
{384}
(#7011437@0)
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嘿嘿...看来我们要较真一回。
-jesse_dd(紫飞鱼);
2011-10-25
{1557}
(#7012851@0)
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从你我的引用都能看到，doom就是destined to a fixed fate，而不仅仅是ended with a fate。"I Am Doomed to a Lonely Unhealthy Life”的意思是："我命里注定要过孤独多病的一生"，而不是" 我会以孤独，不健康的一生而告终“。
-hsl(胡司令);
2011-10-25
(#7013210@0)
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嗯，也有道理。只是这个词总给我一种finished感觉。而楼主用的predetermined，我也有疑问，predetermined by whom? 看来还要斟酌斟酌。：）
-jesse_dd(紫飞鱼);
2011-10-25
(#7013251@0)
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当然有finished的感觉，也就是说无法改变或翻案了，被judge完，定死了。但不是说真正的死亡。
-hsl(胡司令);
2011-10-25
(#7013268@0)
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还有一个感觉好像一般人喜欢用I am doomed....很少说别人doomed...用在you are doomed上下文了，一般是开玩笑。不知道这个感觉对不对。
-jesse_dd(紫飞鱼);
2011-10-25
(#7013285@0)
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我也认为它是个相当重的负面词，用于客观事实阐述（也许口语有夸大）时并没有贬低某人之意。
-hsl(胡司令);
2011-10-25
(#7013315@0)
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My thoughts on your version. You will see mine on next Saturday.
-eric_2003(Wine Expert);
2011-10-17
{1152}
(#6990900@0)
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嗯，很好。不过有许多不尽同意。过一周我再来看你的版本把。。。哦，我差点往鲁迅身上想了，你姐姐中文很好，言简意赅。是作家吗？
-hsl(胡司令);
2011-10-17
(#6990934@0)
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She is not a writer. Actually, it is her first time ever writing anything. I think she truly feels for my mother which has turned her motivation into a real passion. When you have a passion, your writing will fly.
-eric_2003(Wine Expert);
2011-10-18
(#6993458@0)
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Excellent. Can anyone help answer the question upstairs?
-slowdownforrose(放慢脚步);
2011-10-16
(#6989486@0)
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这儿有好的，可别给我戴高帽啊。。。
-thornthorn($oOHoly MolyOo$);
2011-10-16
{517}
(#6989568@0)
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你就搞笑吧，不过里头有几个词到可以借鉴借鉴。
-slowdownforrose(放慢脚步);
2011-10-16
(#6989577@0)
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比如 over time.
-hsl(胡司令);
2011-10-16
(#6989591@0)
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Ha...ha...ha... come on, you can do better than this. For this, I think I deserve a little of your time for a translation.
-eric_2003(Wine Expert);
2011-10-17
(#6990878@0)
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Don't look around. Why don't you post your translation? You certainly can contribute and teach us one thing or two.
-eric_2003(Wine Expert);
2011-10-17
(#6990873@0)
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I meant besideu's question.
-slowdownforrose(放慢脚步);
2011-10-17
(#6992778@0)
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Here is my translation. Any comments on any aspects are welcomed here.
-eric_2003(Wine Expert);
2011-10-22
{1157}
(#7006610@0)
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see inside.
-slowdownforrose(放慢脚步);
2011-10-22
{519}
(#7006888@0)
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Thank you
-eric_2003(Wine Expert);
2011-10-25
{855}
(#7011927@0)
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你的风格和原文的完全不同么。我个人喜欢grieving和no desire。
-hsl(胡司令);
2011-10-22
(#7007696@0)
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Would you care elaborating on it?
-eric_2003(Wine Expert);
2011-10-25
(#7011928@0)
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你的发挥较多，而忠于原文不够。当然可以说这只是每人的风格而已。。。你用的那两个字比我的bitter和didn't want要好!
-hsl(胡司令);
2011-10-25
(#7013234@0)
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我也试试，希望点评
-jesse_dd(紫飞鱼);
2011-10-22
{622}
(#7006961@0)
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第一句省略了一个关键意思。cursed 绝对不正确，fate 最好。Eric 的翻译有点wordy，但是气氛意思都不错。
-wincity(红卫兵);
2011-10-22
(#7007027@0)
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谢谢！请问第一句漏的词是my mother's life instead of my mother?如果是，我是有意漏的。我觉得如果加上，感觉有点重复。如果不是，请指点一下。
Cursed 词的理解，我可能不对。我一直觉得如果是恶运，一般用cursed更能表达对命运的不公不满。不过这句读起来确实不通。我改一改试试。
It seems like my mother's life was cursed even before her birth, a life filled with misery and tears.
-jesse_dd(紫飞鱼);
2011-10-22
{366}
(#7007101@0)
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你漏掉了“苦难的一生”，太关键了。
-wincity(红卫兵);
2011-10-22
(#7007170@0)
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Ok,不过这个确实是我故意漏的。我觉得后面第二段就要写这个的，反反复复写，感觉很重复。中文读起来顺，写成英文好像读起来显得啰嗦，是我个人的感觉，不过主要还是看读者的反馈。谢谢指点。
-jesse_dd(紫飞鱼);
2011-10-22
(#7007195@0)
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苦难是主题，重复主题是一种很有效的修辞，应该的，你听听交响乐里都是这样。再说第一句开门见山，太重要了，我觉得不能省。
-wincity(红卫兵);
2011-10-22
(#7007603@0)
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since i can read时态不对，而且可以理解成“因为我可以。。。”
-hsl(胡司令);
2011-10-22
(#7007710@0)
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你说的很对，意义上有异议。可不可以改成...Ever since I learned to read...
-jesse_dd(紫飞鱼);
2011-10-23
(#7007942@0)
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learned用得好。
-hsl(胡司令);
2011-10-24
(#7011409@0)
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Thank you! I would like to borrow your "relive". But I need to see how it would change the whole structure.
-eric_2003(Wine Expert);
2011-10-25
{837}
(#7011932@0)